Deckchair holiday by the motorway. No thanks!

Most people in their 70's would opt for a deckchair on a sandy beach in Eastbourne or Bournemouth given the choice of a break away from watching Gardeners World on TV, and counting their marbles.  Apparently not all of them though.  On the top of a motorway bridge the other way were a couple in their 70s, camped out on deckchairs, in yellow vests.  The weather was cold and foggy, but the man was in shorts. 

Presumably therefore, theyd run out of marbles to count and decided they needed a change!  I'm guessing they were counting cars for some random project, but 8 hours on, when i returned along this road they were still there... and still in shorts.  Surely they must have something better to do?

Aston martin logo Tattoo?

I've never had a tattoo and if i were to have one, it would not be the usual stupid Chinese lettering that most people get. It would have to be something i really wanted.

Is it crazy that I want to get a tattoo of the Aston Martin logo!?  Would you have one and if so where?

Caravan crash

What's more annoying than seeing a caravan on the road?  The answer:  Being held up in a two mile tailback because a caravan has crashed and blocked the road!

I honestly do not see the point of a caravan.  They aren't cheap, you waste thousands of pounds buying one for it to be stuck on your driveway, blocking out the light from yours and your neighbours windows. When you do decide to use it the tyres are more than likely flat, or the battery dead. Or you find that a local badger has burrowed into it as he's decided it looks like a nice place to sleep for the winter. Once you've sorted all those issues you, you discover you've got nobody to go away with because your wife has run off with the milkman, not wanting to be bored to death inside a caravan. your son / daughter has run away to Ibiza for fear of embarrassment. If you do decide to act a loner and go away in it by yourself you will More than likely find its turned into a force 12 gale, and the caravan will be thrown about like a blow up doll on a welsh farm if you were to risk it. All that, and for what?

When you do get to some caravan park, what is there to do?  "fill up the loo" was the answer given to Jeremy Clarkson when they tried it, and asked the question of "what do we do now we are here?" That trip resulted in having a bit of spam on a broken plate for breakfast, and the caravan ending up on fire.

This weekend is a bank holiday in the UK, and therefore there will be many caravans on the road heading to their fields of hell.  The most worrying thing of all is there they do not need to pass an MOT. So if you are following a caravan this weekend - just think about that.  At any time a wheel may fall off, burst, or the whole thing might collapse... and that's before you even start to think about the Muppet driving the car, pulling the caravan!

Personal Contract Hire - is it a good idea?

According to various websites PCH - Personal Contract Car Hire - is becoming very popular. This prompted me to have a bit of an investigate into it.

What is it PCH?
It's a finance solution where you pay a deposit up front, and then monthly payments for terms between 1 and 4 years.  It is basically an extended rental agreement, the car will never be yours. It's cheaper than other finance options, and you get to drive a brand new car of your choice.  There are also options to pay a little extra to cover servicing etc so you know how much everything will cost.  Road tax is also included. After the term, you give the car back and set up another PCH for another car.

Does it save you money?
This really depends on what your current arrangement is, and how much you use your car.  This option tends to save money compared to a standard finance package.  If you are not bothered whether the car will be yours, and you want to drive brand new cars all the time - then this is the option for you.  If you are used to buying used or new cars using savings, then this will potentially be a more expensive option.

An example PCH deal: 

An Aston Martin could be yours to drive for an initial £5,000 payment, plus £1500 per month (ex Vat)!  Now that has to be cheaper than buying one.. but, would you want to give it back after 4 years !!!?

Overtaking behaviour

There has been some brilliant opportunity for some overtaking this week due to several people wanting to crawl along at ridiculously slow speeds on the way back from work. Honestly, India will have conquered how to build a Mcdonalds on the moon, before some of these people will make it home!

One person decided they would do 35mph on a 60mph road, with a long straight.  The car behind that hesitated and wanted to stick behind it, sniffing its rear exhaust. So i went for it and overtook both of them. No hastle, so fuss - overtaken safely and made it home before the next Ice Age.  That was Tuesday.

Wednesday, another one decided they would do 40mph on a 60mph road.  I didn't hesitate, i went for it and overtook as soon as it was safe, and again all was well.

No doubt it was me who was seen as the reckless driver here - but i was not taking risks, i was completely safe. If you don't think its safe, don't do it. If you hesitate, don't do it. Only perform an overtake if you are sure you can keep control of your car.

If you get overtaken constantly, surely you should be thinking "perhaps i should go a bit faster?"

Rare Aston Martin Owner May Lose Licence!

If you plan to do some serious speeding in a rare car, don't put it on You Tube.
This is what some chump from Belgium did, and may lose his licence because of it!

check out the full story below

http://www.carsforstars.net/news/aston-martin-driver-caught-speeding-through-his-own-youtube-video/1397/

Driving to work rage

I am fortunate enough to work in some buildings surrounding a country mansion house in the middle of the Hampshire / West Sussex countryside. It is a great place to work but comes with its downfalls in that it is a magnet for seriously slow and dangerous drivers! 

There is a very straight and 60mph limit road leading to a series of country roads in which the work place is situated.  Pretty much every day I get stuck behind someone doing 35mph max, who then of course turns off to go the same way as me.  The country roads can accommodate a car doing at least 40mph, but people insist on travelling 20mph.  This week i was stuck behind one such driver who did 20mph all along this road (probably thinking they were being safe)  and then at a sharp bend decided to speed up and cut the corner off.  If a car had been coming the opposite way there would have definitely been a head on crash!  More proof that people who think they are being safe because they are going slow, end up causing the accidents because they are not skilled drivers.

There used to be someone who worked for us, who used to do 15mph down this road.  His car had a huge dent in the back of his car - because he had reversed into his girlfriends house... TWICE! When trying to overtake him, he would always decide to head to the middle of the road. Now, if that doesn't speak "cannot drive, should be banned" i do not know what is.  

The driveway to work has a speed limit of 20mph and speed humps.  30mph is about the correct speed here and perfectly safe.  This week an e-mail was sent around all businesses on the estate telling people not to speed, and not to do handbrake turns in the car park! To which my only comment was.  It wasn't me - this time!

Speed doesn't cause crashes. People who cannot drive do!

Become an Airline pilot to get cheap car insurance

In a recent article in the Guardian they have outlined what job titles are the best, and worst for car insurance costs. 

It would appear that people who are airline pilots, get dirt cheap car insurance. Presumably because they are seen as the type of people who will not make a mistake! Is this true though? If you were an airline pilot stuck on a 10 hour flight, wouldn't you want to get out upon landing and go hairing up the runway in an Aston martin, kicking the back out in clouds of tyre smoke!? I would! Surely there would be then a risk of a crash, particularly at one of the busiest of airports.  A crash between a 747 and an Aston is not going to be cheap!

The most expensive people car insurance title goes to people who are DJ's.  Presumably because they might be drunk, deaf and travel at night the majority of the time.  They can be fleeced out of as much as £,6000 per year in insurance. Seems a bit excessive doesn't it!?

This opens up the question - do people lie about their job titles on their car insurance? Are these things actually checked, as to whether people are lying or not? They certainly should be.  Ive also wondered what people put as their job title if for instance they fight lions, or do metal detecting for a living. There has to be some kind of "other" section so people can enter such titles as "electric donkey worker" or "bat hair specialist" ?

So in summary - learn to fly a plane, and you will not only get the best office view in the word, and get paid big money, but you will also be paying pennies on insurance!  This is another top tip from me!

Funny and Real insurance claims

check out the following: http://www.businessballs.com/insuranceclaims.htm

Views and burgers cause accidents

On a trip along Portsdown hill today that has views across Portsmouth, and the Isle of White I saw several near crashes happen in front of my eyes.

The car in front was doing 35mph in a 40mph limit, and weaving about all over the road. On 2 occasions the car weaved over the centre line, and had to swerve back again to avoid a head on crash.  It was obvious that the driver was too busy looking at the view from the hill, and not concentrating on the road. Either that or they were getting a foot massage, but I'm fairly sure that kind of service is not available in Portsmouth. Not during daylight anyway!  When it was safe to do so i overtook the car, not wanting to be involved in a pile up behind them. I got flashed at because they considered me dangerous. No cars were coming, i was still doing around the speed limit - not dangerous! They obviously thought they were the best driver in the world and didn't notice their dangerous weaving about.

A few miles down the road and there was another car sightseeing. This time doing 20mph in a 40mph limit. The car immediately behind had obviously had enough, and overtook on a double solid white line. An illegal move, and there was a car coming the other way! If this had resulted in a crash, there is no doubt that the overtaking car would be to blame, when in fact the slow, sightseeing car would have been the cause. Pure sacrilege.

Another 500 yds down the road there is a well known 24hr Mobile burger van, which as it turns out is not mobile. Its there all the time, and is renown as the best burgers on the south coast. It is of course Micks. The car that was about 3 cars in front of me had obviously decided they fancied getting larded up on a face full of burger, and braked suddenly to turn in to the ample parking area. The cars behind had to brake suddenly to ensure there wasn't a crash. Could have been an expensive burger if this had gone wrong!

The moral of this story is.  If you want to gawp at the views on a road then pull over, don't risk getting in a crash due to lack of concentration, and if you want to fill your face, then don't take risks. Micks is great, but you don't want to be lying in hospital eating a cold sausage, now do you!

What is that smell?

Driving along the other morning i was suddenly hit square in the face by a big smell. It appeared to be an egg like smell.  For one moment i wondered if the burger van about 100yds down the road had exploded, and expected to see burgers shooting up into the air, as well as chips,eggs, and sausages. I was a feeling a little hungry, so this would have been a win,win situation.

Half a mile down the road, it soon became apparent as to the cause of the foul odour.  A lorry carrying eggs was on fire.  How a lorry comes to actually be on fire is a very interesting question, had the eggs in the back been rubbing together so furiously that they had "made fire" ? How else would it happen?  I was so tempted to ask the driver whether the eggs were going to turn out poached or fried.

Luckily the fire brigade arrived just then so all was well. Apart from the hundreds of thousands of wasted eggs, obviously!

Raising the Motorway limit to 80mph

The government has announced today that they will be looking at reviewing the current speed limit on the UK Motorways of 70mph, and will consider raising it to 80mph.

Their reasons for doing so are due to improved car safety the risk to life at 80mph if a crash happens is now reduced. Also that millions will be saved every year because people get to where they want to go quicker.

Firstly, WELL DONE for thinking about this, and not before time!  However, its not going to make any difference.  People will still drive at 90 - 100mph, there will be no difference to journey times, all that will happen is that the number of people getting stopped for speeding on a motorway will be reduced, meaning the police forces in the UK will have to think of another way to catch people and make money, otherwise the government will need to either cut their budgets, or raise our taxes in some other way.  It will come back to bite us in the end!

The government has also said that its only able to think about this now because its got hot on uninsured and drunk drivers.  Yes, I am sure they have - They can now take their £50 cars off them -  but that's not to say they do not exist anymore. There is always going to be some monkey who will decide car insurance is too expensive, or they've just had a few pints and they've only got to drive a few miles.  If they got hot on people who cant drive, and should be off the roads - then they could open up the motorways to an "any speed you want to" policy!  Think about how much money that would save!  Winchester to Portsmouth in 10 minutes in a Lamborghini! Yes please !

Insurance Renewal Stupidity

On phoning up to cancel my renewal following my earlier victory of getting my monthly payments of £60 down to £27 - the person I spoke to wanted to ask why I was cancelling.  "I don't like the colour of your logo" - is what i felt like answering, why do you think i don't want to renew? Its obvious its going to be due to cost, what other reason could it be for?

She was adamant that she could match the cheaper price I'd got - until that is i mentioned it was £27, and that i'd saved £369 a year by not renewing with them.  She knew full well she couldn't match that and cancelled by renewal.  However... she obviously did want to get my renewal cheaper than the price first quote - so why don't they quote the cheaper price at renewal then? Surely that is the time when someone will think "screw this, i can get it cheaper elsewhere!" rather than phoning them up to ask if they would like to make it cheaper!?  Its crazy sand they are ultimately just costing themselves customers.

Do yourself a favour, switch insurance companies at the time of renewal - you could save yourself a lorry load of cash.  Well, maybe a small lorry, but a lorry load none the less! 

If you have no idea what im banging on about. look at my earlier post.  http://drivingroadrage.blogspot.com/

Car Insurance doesn't need to be expensive!

My Car insurance renewal cane through this last week, and its gone up from £50 to £60 a month! Now, i know what you are thinking.  It serves me right for doing handbrake turns past police cars!  But.. surprisingly i have a clean license, with 8 years + NCB.  So why has it gone up so much!?

A quick investigate later, and I've managed to get it down from £60 per month to £27 a month.  That's a saving of £396!! 

The worrying thing is a lot of people don't bother switching insurance companies, thinking its too much hassle and they wont save much anyway.  Think again!!

I used quidco to make the above saving, and so i will actually get another £25 in cash-back on top of the above saving.  Take a look : http://www.quidco.com/user/1108075/   Its free to sign up, and you can definitely make savings, as shown above!

PS.  Hand brake turns past police cars are not recommended, unless you are certain they are asleep!

Jeremy Clarkson Furious Over Fake Claims

A story has recently appeared in the news over Topgear "apparently" faking the majority of the driving scenes where the car is whacking down the TopGear track, going sideways in a cloud of smoke etc.  This supposed fact has come from a disgruntled ex driver employed by Topgear. (hence the "ex" driver - probably sacked because he couldnt handle a three wheeler)

Naturally Jeremy Clarkson is furious about this and denies it completely.  The fact of the matter is that yes some scenes are done by other drivers rather than the presenters, but only when there is a need for cut in shots, and there is no time for the presenters to get back in the cars and do them.  They are busy people and there are always going to be extra shots needed when they're not available!  Whats the fuss about! Its not as though theyve put a Clarkson look a line in there and recorded his voice over it, its not misleading or fake as people are suggesting it to be!

People love to come up with some kind of excuse to put down the Topgear team, particularly Clarkson, and put him in the firing line. Most probably because they are jealous and know that they will never do the things that he Hammond and May do, never drive the cars they do, and wont come close to having the amazing jobs that they have - which are without question the best jobs ... in the world.

Get over it, enjoy topgear - and if you cant, go and watch Fifth Gear - which is nothing short of watching magnolia paint dry on a very wet, dark day.

Clarksons fury: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/3751735/Jeremy-Clarkson-Top-Gear-fake-fury.html

Driving me MAD!!

I think i must be some kind of bad driver magnet recently. I've had a visit from the shocking driver leader during the night who has implanted a small device in my brain to signal all of his members to my vicinity when i am on the road!  Seriously!!

Again yesterday on leaving work - a car pulled out on me and then proceeded to drive at a speed a millipede with 99 legs broken, could manage. This was on the straight before the S bend i mentioned in my previous post.  I saw a gap and went for the the overtake, otherwise i wold have actually been there until my 80th birthday!  It was a completely safe overtake, but the driver decided he'd take exception to it and started flashing their lights.  To be honest I'm surprised they knew where the button was to turn on their lights, they certainly didn't know where the "GO" pedal is!

"Miles to empty" Calculation

On my Ford Focus this morning when  I got to work the computer told me I had 15 miles until the fuel talk was empty. It has always been pretty accurate, even though i suspect its being a bit panicky and theres probably at least another gallon in there.  On starting the car to go home it decided there was now enough for 38 miles! How did that happen? Where did it just dream up18 miles from?  Perhaps a small field mouse has been using my fuel tank to urinate in during the day!? That mouse urine is potent stuff so I hear!

I will be interested to see how many miles it thinks Ive got left tomorrow morning.  More likely it will be a big fat ZERO!

I would much rather my car being a few Miles out though than it being like my wife's Renault Megane.  It quite happily tells you how much fuel there is left until theres 40 miles left, then it lets out a terrifying scream and the display goes blank! Its being typically French at this point and screaming "Help.. i don't know anymore, i don't know how much fuel there is - i surrender!!"  and starts waving the white flag!  Whats the point in having the display if it just gives up when its less than 40 miles of range left?  Pathetic!

More Bad Driver Irritation

On the way home from work today I came across yet another bad driver.  This type is all too common and one of the most dangerous. Theres no question about it, these people need to be run off the road - and I'm not talking about a letter being sent to them, I mean literally run off the road.  We should employ the tactics the American cops have.  No warning, a pit maneuver is performed on the car, sending it spinning into the nearby hedge.  Once stopped - shout "sorry, you have to be stopped," and drive off!  That will teach them!!

On a 60mph limit road this car was doing 35mph, and this road is a fairly straight road which you can safely do 60mph.  The car behind it got to fed up they decided to overtake (not me, i have to add!.)  The driver who overtook had become so frustrated he took a big risk of overtaking on a slight bend, meaning there was a risk of an oncoming car coming and a head on collision.  If this had occurred it would have no doubt been the car overtaking at fault, which in actual fact the root cause was the driver being shoickingly slow.

A little way down the road i came to be behind this slow driver who was still ticking along in 2nd gear.  We came to a SLOW sign on the road, because there is an S bend.  Again you take this bend at 40mph without issue.  The driver decided he'd slow down to 15mph, and then keep jabbing the brakes on til we were almost stopped! There was no way i could overtake so i just had to suck it up, but this was very frustrating. 

We then came to 30mph limit where there is a school, and 30mph is the max you want to do here.  You would think that the slow drive would be a careful driver, and wanting to stick to this limit?  No... he sped up to around 45mph!!  

So, just because a driver is slow doesn't mean they are safe. Quite the opposite actually!  This type of driver who obviously cannot really drive at all has to be stopped by any means necessary. They are the ones who will cause accidents!

I maintain that a regular test of skill around the nurburg ring would be the way to go. Anyone who fails get this British passport torn up and made to stay to dig up roads.  Anyone who passes gets to come back and get given a Supercar.

Dodgy drivers on mobile phones

A news story was published today regarding a driver who was caught talking on two mobiles, whilst doing 70 mph down a duel carriage way. He maintained that despite reports, he wasn't steering with his knees!  What was he driving with then?? He also said that he wasn't actively using two mobiles, he was searching for a number on one, and speaking it into the other.  Oh well - that's alright then!! 

No doubt he was on the phone to his local whore house, and was reading out the number for his favourite sex phone line whilst steering with his penis.  For that he got banned and £200 of fines. 

To be honest though, this isn't enough.  He has seriously risked the life of himself and thousands of road users and pedestrians around him by this act. Just for the sake of getting a good deal on a whore! Seriously though, mobile phones can destroy lives.  There is a well known police program that's repeated weekly showing the story of a girl who died when her car was crushed into a small cube, because the lorry driver behind was playing with his mobile and didn't see her brake.  That girl had a family, who has had their lives shaken, turned upside down and burnt to a crisp because of the lorry driver being stupid.

Using a mobile phone whilst driving is probably something we've all done at some point.  Just today i saw two people on the phone whilst driving and both of them nearly had accidents as i watched them.  One of them pulled out in front of me, the other was about to pull out on a police car with his blue lights on!  If these two drivers continue to do this they are likely to end up in prison on a death by driving charge.  I just hope they don't, and that honest road users don't end up injured or dead because of people like this.

Stop using your mobile whilst driving.  It's not worth the risk!

Link to news story of man steering with his man vegetables:

http://news.uk.msn.com/uk/driver-caught-using-two-mobiles

TopGear Filming on YouTube

In the last (not as in the last of all time obviously!) series of TopGear - Clarkson, May and Hammond tried to see if there was an alternative to the trains that we see today on our railways. 

Clarkson made a sports train out of a Jaguar XJ and a trailer, with a spoiler of course.  Hammond and May went the more sensible route with an Audi and some caravans. 

The usual calamities happened, with the caravans catching fire, and then being run over by a passing train.  It was a fantastic episode and full of all the things that people (most people anyway) love about TopGear.

Some filming has appeared on YouTube of this, taken by someone who was on a railways bridge watching.  The camera appears to have been held by someone who has the inability to use their hand, and has a severe case of caffeine shakes - but nonetheless, its great to see.  Check it out below