Whilst most people have been enjoying the BBQ weather this bank holiday weekend, there have been some people who've taken it upon themselves to bring sorrow and misery to the roads.
Three times this weekend I've witnessed driving which I thought i'd never see outside of the Vodka fuelled Russian capital.
On Sunday going along the motorway a car swerved in front of another car as it suddenly decided it wanted to stay on the motorway, and not exit. It was centimetres away from a high speed, and probably fatal accident. As I got side by side with the muppet, expecting Kermit the frog or Bert and Ernie, there was a man with a phone in one hand, and a map in the other. Not quite believing it, and deciding it was my duty to try and get him to stop what he was doing, I gave him the full duel horn affect. he took no notice. He overtook me, still with no hands on the wheel. I decided waving my hands out the window and shouting was the next stage. Still nothing. He then decided he wanted to be in my lane, and cut in front of me. Short of ramming him in a US police style pit manoeuvre there wasn't much I could do. He had at least got one hand on the wheel by this time. An accident waiting to happen. I was angry and wish I could legally lob a grenade into his open window.
Sunday evening now, and driving along a 60mph road, I find a car doing 30mph. I held back for a while, and then overtook when it was safe to do so. I got the flashing light treatment for this, and they decided to then speed up and follow me. The story doesn't end there however. As I neared a roundabout and slowed down to the appropriate speed to take it, I heard screeching tyres behind me and in the mirror saw the car i had overtaken, plough into the sign post on the island of the roundabout. It would seem that the reason why this driver was doing 30mph to start with is because they cant handle the car anything over this speed! Clearly they shouldn't be driving.
Monday afternoon, and the last of the bad drivers. On a 60mph road again, and i spot some reversing lights at the side of the road. Wondering what might be about to happen, i slow to 40mph. Just as well, as a van had decided to reverse out of a driveway, straight onto this fast section of road. I had time to stop. If i had been the drive previously revered to, i would not have noticed the reverse lights, would have panicked and swerved and ploughed into an oncoming car, or a tree. This van then decided to do 35mph on a road which is safe for 60mph plus, and jam on its breaks for no good reason at one point as well. I had enough and overtook on a straight, and safe section. Now even more shocked and appalled at the state of driving skill i had witnessed during the weekend
So in summary... It is not speed that kills, it is the drivers who cant drive at 30mph, and cant handle their car anything over this speed. You can drive fast, and safely - its just you have to know the limits of your car, and what situations are safe, and not safe! These drivers put lives in their hands every day, and this is when the roads are dry and fairly empty. Imagine what happens when these drivers try to drive when its raining, dark, or icy.
Showing posts with label rage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rage. Show all posts
Monday, 26 August 2013
Saturday, 6 April 2013
Cyclists!
Driving through a town this morning, a cyclist in some shorts that were obviously two sizes too small, and meant for a child was ahead of me. I slowed down, as he was wobbling all over the road. Just about to overtake him, and he glances behind him for about half a second. then without hesitation pulls right in front of me to turn right. Had i not slowed down, i would have run him over and probably killed him - and no doubt it would have been all my fault!
There are, i'm sure - lots of responsible people who cycle, and wear the right size clothing, who are much more road aware. However, with the cost of petrol, more and more idiots are taking to the road on their two wheels thinking they are invincible, and not thinking! You only have to go to London to see what hell the cyclists bring to the roads. There are also countless videos on YouTube from cyclists who wear cameras on their helmets, showing that they've apparently been almost killed because a car has overtaken them within the 50 foot radius they think they have rights to. There is one who actually pulls up to a van, and kicks in the door because apparently it got too close when it overtook.. It did, but that was because the cyclist pulled into the middle of the road for no reason!
I have no problem in cyclists being on the road - but please have some respect for the other things on the road that can crush your bones in an instant. If you cant do that, get the bus or walk!
There are, i'm sure - lots of responsible people who cycle, and wear the right size clothing, who are much more road aware. However, with the cost of petrol, more and more idiots are taking to the road on their two wheels thinking they are invincible, and not thinking! You only have to go to London to see what hell the cyclists bring to the roads. There are also countless videos on YouTube from cyclists who wear cameras on their helmets, showing that they've apparently been almost killed because a car has overtaken them within the 50 foot radius they think they have rights to. There is one who actually pulls up to a van, and kicks in the door because apparently it got too close when it overtook.. It did, but that was because the cyclist pulled into the middle of the road for no reason!
I have no problem in cyclists being on the road - but please have some respect for the other things on the road that can crush your bones in an instant. If you cant do that, get the bus or walk!
Saturday, 23 February 2013
How did they crash!?
Monday lunch time, on way to a popular shopping centre in Hampshire - coming across a head on accident on a 30mph road, was not the thing i was expecting to see. a Big cheese filled burger, and perhaps some shop lifters - yes.
The accident appears to have just happened. Two cars had gone head on, and the cars were obliterated at the front. How they'd managed to even crash, and how they'd damaged their cars so bad is a mystery. They must have been doing 50mph each! More concerning though was the third car who again must have been doing over 40mph, and decided that instead of braking to avoid the crash, they'd go towards some metal railings. Great decision there, slow clap for you. 7 people then proceeded to get out of this car and all walk off in different directions! Presumably they had an important burger to eat, or were immigrants or some such.
So, the cause of this accident. Well more than likely the cause on paper will go down as being speed. Which will mean speed camera's will be put up, and speed humps that could catch a Bowing 747 out. Yes these drivers appeared to have been speeding - but this does not mean speed was the cause. They ineptness at driving properly is. How did they crash on a straight road!? How did the other car not brake? These drivers did not have the skills required for dealing with any potential hazards, and this was what caused it. People should go through a crash avoidance test either during, or just after their driving test. There are some people id like to volunteer to be the pedestrians walking out in front of the car!
The accident appears to have just happened. Two cars had gone head on, and the cars were obliterated at the front. How they'd managed to even crash, and how they'd damaged their cars so bad is a mystery. They must have been doing 50mph each! More concerning though was the third car who again must have been doing over 40mph, and decided that instead of braking to avoid the crash, they'd go towards some metal railings. Great decision there, slow clap for you. 7 people then proceeded to get out of this car and all walk off in different directions! Presumably they had an important burger to eat, or were immigrants or some such.
So, the cause of this accident. Well more than likely the cause on paper will go down as being speed. Which will mean speed camera's will be put up, and speed humps that could catch a Bowing 747 out. Yes these drivers appeared to have been speeding - but this does not mean speed was the cause. They ineptness at driving properly is. How did they crash on a straight road!? How did the other car not brake? These drivers did not have the skills required for dealing with any potential hazards, and this was what caused it. People should go through a crash avoidance test either during, or just after their driving test. There are some people id like to volunteer to be the pedestrians walking out in front of the car!
Saturday, 26 January 2013
Two types of drivers
There are two types of drivers in this world...
1. The type who use their sun visors all time time, even if the moons a bit bright
2. The type who wear sunglasses, and can drive more than 5mph without sliding into a bush.
I was following someone this morning who at every corner was moving their sun visor about in order to block the big orange ball out. Its the first day we've really seen sun this year, and it wasn't that bright. They were inept at being able to do this without braking violently either. Further proof came of their stupidity came when they approached a roundabout, and with their sun visor covering the top half of the driver side window, they failed to see the car coming on the roundabout, and pulled out in front of them. Luckily the other driver was of driver type 2 - and had some sense. Crash averted!
Sun visors are there for when you really have no other option to be able to see the road. Not because you would prefer living in a dark cave, watching repeats of Steptoe and Son on a black and white TV, eating ryvita's all day. They should come with a safety warning for stupid people, or taken away completely and the drivers given a blindfold - it would probably improve their driving skills!
1. The type who use their sun visors all time time, even if the moons a bit bright
2. The type who wear sunglasses, and can drive more than 5mph without sliding into a bush.
I was following someone this morning who at every corner was moving their sun visor about in order to block the big orange ball out. Its the first day we've really seen sun this year, and it wasn't that bright. They were inept at being able to do this without braking violently either. Further proof came of their stupidity came when they approached a roundabout, and with their sun visor covering the top half of the driver side window, they failed to see the car coming on the roundabout, and pulled out in front of them. Luckily the other driver was of driver type 2 - and had some sense. Crash averted!
Sun visors are there for when you really have no other option to be able to see the road. Not because you would prefer living in a dark cave, watching repeats of Steptoe and Son on a black and white TV, eating ryvita's all day. They should come with a safety warning for stupid people, or taken away completely and the drivers given a blindfold - it would probably improve their driving skills!
Sunday, 20 January 2013
Not a confident driver... stay at home when it snows!
Two hours of heavy snow fall, and the bad drivers come out in force!
Friday morning we had heavy snow in this part of the world, which started around 7:30am in the morning. Police had warned people who didnt have to drive, to stay at home. What they really meant was "those who can't drive very well, please keep out the way of people who can!"
It had barely started settling on the roads and people were doing 5mph on a 60mph road. Yes you should be careful, but there wasn't a chance of any slipping at this point. 30mph was safe and practical. As the snow starting settling heavily on the roads, drivers who were freaked out about the white stuff starting doing 2mph, and stopping on hills when their wheels slipped slightly - and then not being able to get going again. This lead to lorrys and busses then getting stuck behind them, and the road network started shutting down.
If these people could actually drive, and knew how to handle their cars - they'd be confident about going a little faster, and carrying on when the roads starting to get slippery - enough to keep going and power up the hills.
Today i drove down a B road which hadnt been gritted, and was still quite icy. If you know how to drive, you can do 20mph, and still keep complete control of your car. In front of me was someone in a 4 wheel drive, and they were doing 2 mph!! Whats the point of you having a 4 wheel drive if you're going to do that?
Part of the driving test should be driving in icy conditions. Those who fail to drive at least 10mph and keep the car on the road should not get their license. As we get more and more snowy weather in the UK, this serously needs to be considered. No need to spend millions on new gritting trucks, just get the people who cant drive off the bloody road when it snows!
Friday morning we had heavy snow in this part of the world, which started around 7:30am in the morning. Police had warned people who didnt have to drive, to stay at home. What they really meant was "those who can't drive very well, please keep out the way of people who can!"
It had barely started settling on the roads and people were doing 5mph on a 60mph road. Yes you should be careful, but there wasn't a chance of any slipping at this point. 30mph was safe and practical. As the snow starting settling heavily on the roads, drivers who were freaked out about the white stuff starting doing 2mph, and stopping on hills when their wheels slipped slightly - and then not being able to get going again. This lead to lorrys and busses then getting stuck behind them, and the road network started shutting down.
If these people could actually drive, and knew how to handle their cars - they'd be confident about going a little faster, and carrying on when the roads starting to get slippery - enough to keep going and power up the hills.
Today i drove down a B road which hadnt been gritted, and was still quite icy. If you know how to drive, you can do 20mph, and still keep complete control of your car. In front of me was someone in a 4 wheel drive, and they were doing 2 mph!! Whats the point of you having a 4 wheel drive if you're going to do that?
Part of the driving test should be driving in icy conditions. Those who fail to drive at least 10mph and keep the car on the road should not get their license. As we get more and more snowy weather in the UK, this serously needs to be considered. No need to spend millions on new gritting trucks, just get the people who cant drive off the bloody road when it snows!
Friday, 28 December 2012
Power Steering, causes deaths
The Subject of this post, may cause you to think "WTF is this douche bag on now?" but wait a moment, and you'll realise i'm actually talking some sense... this time.
Think about how easy it is to steer a car these days, how mostly you can turn your car with one hand, or even just a couple of fingers. Now think what possibilities that opens up for use of your other hand / fingers! Texting, fiddling with your clothes, fiddling with the passengers clothes!! Changing a CD. The possibilities are endless, and if thought about enough, probably worrying.
Now think about whether all those things are possible if you had no power steering? Believe me, they are not. Without power steering you need both hands on the wheel at all times, unless changing gear! Otherwise you will crash, and spectacularly probably. Whilst this may be less fun, and you wont be able to play with your passengers breasts whilst driving - this means that you are concentrating a lot more on actually steering the car, and therefore less accidents will occur. No longer would accidents be caused by people texting / facebooking whilst driving!
A crazy idea?... or some element of truth here!?
Think about how easy it is to steer a car these days, how mostly you can turn your car with one hand, or even just a couple of fingers. Now think what possibilities that opens up for use of your other hand / fingers! Texting, fiddling with your clothes, fiddling with the passengers clothes!! Changing a CD. The possibilities are endless, and if thought about enough, probably worrying.
Now think about whether all those things are possible if you had no power steering? Believe me, they are not. Without power steering you need both hands on the wheel at all times, unless changing gear! Otherwise you will crash, and spectacularly probably. Whilst this may be less fun, and you wont be able to play with your passengers breasts whilst driving - this means that you are concentrating a lot more on actually steering the car, and therefore less accidents will occur. No longer would accidents be caused by people texting / facebooking whilst driving!
A crazy idea?... or some element of truth here!?
Saturday, 27 October 2012
Deckchair holiday by the motorway. No thanks!
Most people in their 70's would opt for a deckchair on a sandy beach in Eastbourne or Bournemouth given the choice of a break away from watching Gardeners World on TV, and counting their marbles. Apparently not all of them though. On the top of a motorway bridge the other way were a couple in their 70s, camped out on deckchairs, in yellow vests. The weather was cold and foggy, but the man was in shorts.
Presumably therefore, theyd run out of marbles to count and decided they needed a change! I'm guessing they were counting cars for some random project, but 8 hours on, when i returned along this road they were still there... and still in shorts. Surely they must have something better to do?
Presumably therefore, theyd run out of marbles to count and decided they needed a change! I'm guessing they were counting cars for some random project, but 8 hours on, when i returned along this road they were still there... and still in shorts. Surely they must have something better to do?
Firework chase
Last night i had a near miss with a firework going off in my face. The car in front decided it was a great idea to light a firework and throw it out the window. My window was open, and it came into my car and landed on the passenger seat. Grabbing hold of it, and throwing it back out - it then exploded with a bang. A near miss, for sure!
Now, understandably i was a little bit unhappy about this. So decided to follow the car in front who'd just done this to me. They knew i was unhappy and onto them, so floored it onto the motorway. their crappy 1.4l was no match for my 2.0l - so quickly caught up with them - they came off at the next exit, thinking i hadnt seen them trying to make me think they were going to stay on the motorway. Coming up behind them at the bottom of the slip road, they stopped at some traffic lights which were red. They panicked, threw two boxes of fireworks out the window and legged it through the red light. I felt happy knowing i'd just freaked them out enough, to think twice about doing it again - but not happy in that if i hadn't been as quick thinking, i could have had serious injuries / burns.
Now, understandably i was a little bit unhappy about this. So decided to follow the car in front who'd just done this to me. They knew i was unhappy and onto them, so floored it onto the motorway. their crappy 1.4l was no match for my 2.0l - so quickly caught up with them - they came off at the next exit, thinking i hadnt seen them trying to make me think they were going to stay on the motorway. Coming up behind them at the bottom of the slip road, they stopped at some traffic lights which were red. They panicked, threw two boxes of fireworks out the window and legged it through the red light. I felt happy knowing i'd just freaked them out enough, to think twice about doing it again - but not happy in that if i hadn't been as quick thinking, i could have had serious injuries / burns.
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Cars on fire, but i'm not stopping for anything!
Now if you could smell something burning, saw smoke and flames coming out of your cars bonnet - You'd stop, get out the car and call 999? Wouldnt you!?
Apparently some people dont have these thoughts! Yesterday upon exiting a motorway I came up to a VW Golf that had smoke pouring out of it, and flames starting to appear from the side of the bonnet. There was a serious smell of melting plastic - so unless the car is one of those new eco cars that runs on melted plastic, i'm surprised it was still actually running. But running it was, and the driver was not giving up. "if i drive faster, i'll put the fire out" is the only thing i can presume they were thinking!
People were flashing their lights, hooting their horns, trying to make the driver stop, but still they kept on! 2 miles down the road and the smoke was getting more and more thick, it was getting hard to actually see the road in front!
It wasnt til someone coming the other way actually pulled in front of them and blocked them from driving any further, that they stopped! We all got out our cars to pull the person out the car. Expecting a little old lady who didnt know what to do, we were surprised to see a 30 year old man, who should have known better!
"what were you thinking" someone asked. "i dont know, i thought i could get home!" the man replied. Well done, so once you were home what were you expecting to do? Get a bucket and put it out!?
soon enough the firemen came and put it out - and that was the end of the fun time!
It left me thinking though that there should be an IQ test when it comes to the driving test, people should be asked questions such as "how do you spell .spanner" Anyone who fails should be marked as someone never to be allowed to own, drive, or be near a car!
Apparently some people dont have these thoughts! Yesterday upon exiting a motorway I came up to a VW Golf that had smoke pouring out of it, and flames starting to appear from the side of the bonnet. There was a serious smell of melting plastic - so unless the car is one of those new eco cars that runs on melted plastic, i'm surprised it was still actually running. But running it was, and the driver was not giving up. "if i drive faster, i'll put the fire out" is the only thing i can presume they were thinking!
People were flashing their lights, hooting their horns, trying to make the driver stop, but still they kept on! 2 miles down the road and the smoke was getting more and more thick, it was getting hard to actually see the road in front!
It wasnt til someone coming the other way actually pulled in front of them and blocked them from driving any further, that they stopped! We all got out our cars to pull the person out the car. Expecting a little old lady who didnt know what to do, we were surprised to see a 30 year old man, who should have known better!
"what were you thinking" someone asked. "i dont know, i thought i could get home!" the man replied. Well done, so once you were home what were you expecting to do? Get a bucket and put it out!?
soon enough the firemen came and put it out - and that was the end of the fun time!
It left me thinking though that there should be an IQ test when it comes to the driving test, people should be asked questions such as "how do you spell .spanner" Anyone who fails should be marked as someone never to be allowed to own, drive, or be near a car!
Thursday, 27 September 2012
Campervans. Get a proper car!
Recently i've been made aware of a select group of people who seem to think that campervans are a cool thing to own.
I dont think that this has somehow be classed as "cool." These campervans are simply nothing more than an old van, with a window cut in the side and an old matress that smells of wee inside. The type of people who think these are cool, are usually over 40, eithet teachers, or policemen and have nothing else to do but drive around thinking they're in their 20's and 30's again! Sometime's theyve even wasted their time by painting things on the side of them to in a bid to look even more cooler. It just draws attention to the fact they're being a tw@!
Why don't you grow up and get a proper car? If you want to go away and stay somewhere overnight you dont have to sleep in a van, there's a thing called a hotel. Here you can sleep somewhere where the matress doesnt smell of urine (unless its the Plymouth Travellodge) and where you might actually be treated like a respected person, rather than an old person, trying to relive their youth, and acting like a tramp!
I dont think that this has somehow be classed as "cool." These campervans are simply nothing more than an old van, with a window cut in the side and an old matress that smells of wee inside. The type of people who think these are cool, are usually over 40, eithet teachers, or policemen and have nothing else to do but drive around thinking they're in their 20's and 30's again! Sometime's theyve even wasted their time by painting things on the side of them to in a bid to look even more cooler. It just draws attention to the fact they're being a tw@!
Why don't you grow up and get a proper car? If you want to go away and stay somewhere overnight you dont have to sleep in a van, there's a thing called a hotel. Here you can sleep somewhere where the matress doesnt smell of urine (unless its the Plymouth Travellodge) and where you might actually be treated like a respected person, rather than an old person, trying to relive their youth, and acting like a tramp!
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
Got my Car Stereo removal keys stuck!!
So, I was sure i was onto a winner the other day when i removed my Sony 6000CD from my Focus, to get the serial number, to then get the unlock code. I bought some removal keys for £4 from Ebay
This is where i started acting all special. On putting the unit back, i couldn't work out why it wouldn't stay in, and the keys wouldn't come out! For about 30 minutes i was trying to work out what the hell was going on, i must have looked like a right douche bag! At one point i even got some pliers and tried to put all my weight into pulling the keys out. Nothing worked, all that happened was a bit of swearing, some mangling of the keys, and some small blood loss!
The next day i suddenly had a thought.. and it was a good one, so i thought. I'll get the pliers and try to force the keys out whilst the unit it out. That didn't work either, and all i did was bend a few things i really shouldn't have done. I'd managed to stuff it up so that the unit had gone back, and was secured by 1 clip, with all four keys stuck in - so now i was really screwed!
Today i applied even more brute force, and managed to get the unit back out. Then i discovered the full horror of my specialness. All i needed to do was gently press the clips in on the side of the unit, and remove the keys. Then just drop the unit back in, and it clipped neatly in place! Head in hands, i was ashamed of myself - but at least I've got a working stereo, and no keys stuck in the holes.
Don't be a douche bag like me!
This is where i started acting all special. On putting the unit back, i couldn't work out why it wouldn't stay in, and the keys wouldn't come out! For about 30 minutes i was trying to work out what the hell was going on, i must have looked like a right douche bag! At one point i even got some pliers and tried to put all my weight into pulling the keys out. Nothing worked, all that happened was a bit of swearing, some mangling of the keys, and some small blood loss!
The next day i suddenly had a thought.. and it was a good one, so i thought. I'll get the pliers and try to force the keys out whilst the unit it out. That didn't work either, and all i did was bend a few things i really shouldn't have done. I'd managed to stuff it up so that the unit had gone back, and was secured by 1 clip, with all four keys stuck in - so now i was really screwed!
Today i applied even more brute force, and managed to get the unit back out. Then i discovered the full horror of my specialness. All i needed to do was gently press the clips in on the side of the unit, and remove the keys. Then just drop the unit back in, and it clipped neatly in place! Head in hands, i was ashamed of myself - but at least I've got a working stereo, and no keys stuck in the holes.
Don't be a douche bag like me!
Monday, 21 May 2012
Forgotten to shut your door?
Yesterday I was driving along and a car coming the other way had his drivers door open. It appeared to be that he was holding open with this foot!
Now - a few questions immediately sprung to mind.
1. What has happened in that car to make leaving the door open a good idea? someone with a serious gas problem in the car? has an egg just purchased from Makro just exploded? Was the air con broken? or was the driver of the car so outraged with the quality of his driving, that he was considering jumping from the car to save himself?
2. What foot was he powering the car with, if his right foot was holding the door open?
3. Can you imagine explaining to the police why a motorbike crashed into him? "well you see i had the door open..." It's not going to end well!
4. What mental institute had this person just escaped from?
Now - a few questions immediately sprung to mind.
1. What has happened in that car to make leaving the door open a good idea? someone with a serious gas problem in the car? has an egg just purchased from Makro just exploded? Was the air con broken? or was the driver of the car so outraged with the quality of his driving, that he was considering jumping from the car to save himself?
2. What foot was he powering the car with, if his right foot was holding the door open?
3. Can you imagine explaining to the police why a motorbike crashed into him? "well you see i had the door open..." It's not going to end well!
4. What mental institute had this person just escaped from?
Thursday, 17 May 2012
Baby on board sign - taken to next level
We've all seen cars with the tacky "baby on board" signs in the back window. Nobody really knows what these signs are meant to do. Does it give the driver of the car some kind of special permission to drive recklessly because the baby has thrown up on the seats? No idea to be honest!
This morning i saw a Baby on board sign, taken to the next level. It was a picture of a pregnant mothers ultrasound scan in the back window, with the words ... "on board" over the top of it. Why!? What good is that going to do, and why would other people on the road be interested? It could have been a picture of James May's arse - it wasn't at all clear until you were right up to the back of the car. So in actual fact, the car owner is inviting people to smack them up the backside, whilst trying to work out what the hell the picture is!
This morning i saw a Baby on board sign, taken to the next level. It was a picture of a pregnant mothers ultrasound scan in the back window, with the words ... "on board" over the top of it. Why!? What good is that going to do, and why would other people on the road be interested? It could have been a picture of James May's arse - it wasn't at all clear until you were right up to the back of the car. So in actual fact, the car owner is inviting people to smack them up the backside, whilst trying to work out what the hell the picture is!
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Shopping all over the road
Driving home tonight I was travelling up a short section of dual carriageway after a large ASDA super market. Its a very short section leading to a roundabout where the two lanes merge into one.
A Nissan Quashqo (Or Prick as we will name it for purposes of the story) was right up my back bottom on the way up the dual carriageway, for no obvious reason. He decided to get into the outside lane just before the roundabout and cut me up as it merged to one lane. As he accelerated, the boot opened to reveal about 10 bags of shopping, and the majority of them then fell into the road with a big smash. There was food everywhere all over the road,and likely all ruined! Funniest thing ever! That will learn them!
A Nissan Quashqo (Or Prick as we will name it for purposes of the story) was right up my back bottom on the way up the dual carriageway, for no obvious reason. He decided to get into the outside lane just before the roundabout and cut me up as it merged to one lane. As he accelerated, the boot opened to reveal about 10 bags of shopping, and the majority of them then fell into the road with a big smash. There was food everywhere all over the road,and likely all ruined! Funniest thing ever! That will learn them!
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
Insurance black box
So you've heard of Aircraft black boxes. Now many insurance companies are offering you the chance of a black box for your car! Now don't be concerned, it isn't a little box that will record everything you say in the car so that in the event of a minor prang, you are put to death for having said "cheese" on your way to the supermarket.
The black box records speed, time, location, and G forces as you are driving the car - which is then fed back to the Insurance HQ. If you are proved to be a driver who sticks to the speed limits, and doesn't go round corners at 60mph then your insurance price will stay low. It also depends on how much mileage you do, and where and when you drive too. If you are a normal driver who mostly sticks to the speed limits, and goes round corners at a practical speed then this black box arrangement is not for you. You will get penalised for bad driving, even though you are actually perfectly safe. for example if you were stuck being a 20mph driver on a 60mph limit, and overtook them - the G forces recorded would put you down as a dangerous driver, even though in actual fact the 20mph was the dangerous one!
So, when should you get a black box? If you are a practical, but safe driver who enjoys driving then don't bother. If you only drive to the shops once a week on a Monday afternoon, religiously stick to 5mph under the speed limit, and drive a car that's capable of accelerating from 0 - 60 in 2 months, then this is the deal for you!
One day all of us will be made to get one, and that will be the time when driving will no longer be fun, but a massive bore. Super Cars will no longer exist except for track days, and the worlds economy will suffer because everyone is taking 2 hours longer to get to work.
The black box records speed, time, location, and G forces as you are driving the car - which is then fed back to the Insurance HQ. If you are proved to be a driver who sticks to the speed limits, and doesn't go round corners at 60mph then your insurance price will stay low. It also depends on how much mileage you do, and where and when you drive too. If you are a normal driver who mostly sticks to the speed limits, and goes round corners at a practical speed then this black box arrangement is not for you. You will get penalised for bad driving, even though you are actually perfectly safe. for example if you were stuck being a 20mph driver on a 60mph limit, and overtook them - the G forces recorded would put you down as a dangerous driver, even though in actual fact the 20mph was the dangerous one!
So, when should you get a black box? If you are a practical, but safe driver who enjoys driving then don't bother. If you only drive to the shops once a week on a Monday afternoon, religiously stick to 5mph under the speed limit, and drive a car that's capable of accelerating from 0 - 60 in 2 months, then this is the deal for you!
One day all of us will be made to get one, and that will be the time when driving will no longer be fun, but a massive bore. Super Cars will no longer exist except for track days, and the worlds economy will suffer because everyone is taking 2 hours longer to get to work.
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Aston martin logo Tattoo?
I've never had a tattoo and if i were to have one, it would not be the usual stupid Chinese lettering that most people get. It would have to be something i really wanted.
Is it crazy that I want to get a tattoo of the Aston Martin logo!? Would you have one and if so where?
Is it crazy that I want to get a tattoo of the Aston Martin logo!? Would you have one and if so where?
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Caravan crash
What's more annoying than seeing a caravan on the road? The answer: Being held up in a two mile tailback because a caravan has crashed and blocked the road!
I honestly do not see the point of a caravan. They aren't cheap, you waste thousands of pounds buying one for it to be stuck on your driveway, blocking out the light from yours and your neighbours windows. When you do decide to use it the tyres are more than likely flat, or the battery dead. Or you find that a local badger has burrowed into it as he's decided it looks like a nice place to sleep for the winter. Once you've sorted all those issues you, you discover you've got nobody to go away with because your wife has run off with the milkman, not wanting to be bored to death inside a caravan. your son / daughter has run away to Ibiza for fear of embarrassment. If you do decide to act a loner and go away in it by yourself you will More than likely find its turned into a force 12 gale, and the caravan will be thrown about like a blow up doll on a welsh farm if you were to risk it. All that, and for what?
When you do get to some caravan park, what is there to do? "fill up the loo" was the answer given to Jeremy Clarkson when they tried it, and asked the question of "what do we do now we are here?" That trip resulted in having a bit of spam on a broken plate for breakfast, and the caravan ending up on fire.
This weekend is a bank holiday in the UK, and therefore there will be many caravans on the road heading to their fields of hell. The most worrying thing of all is there they do not need to pass an MOT. So if you are following a caravan this weekend - just think about that. At any time a wheel may fall off, burst, or the whole thing might collapse... and that's before you even start to think about the Muppet driving the car, pulling the caravan!
I honestly do not see the point of a caravan. They aren't cheap, you waste thousands of pounds buying one for it to be stuck on your driveway, blocking out the light from yours and your neighbours windows. When you do decide to use it the tyres are more than likely flat, or the battery dead. Or you find that a local badger has burrowed into it as he's decided it looks like a nice place to sleep for the winter. Once you've sorted all those issues you, you discover you've got nobody to go away with because your wife has run off with the milkman, not wanting to be bored to death inside a caravan. your son / daughter has run away to Ibiza for fear of embarrassment. If you do decide to act a loner and go away in it by yourself you will More than likely find its turned into a force 12 gale, and the caravan will be thrown about like a blow up doll on a welsh farm if you were to risk it. All that, and for what?
When you do get to some caravan park, what is there to do? "fill up the loo" was the answer given to Jeremy Clarkson when they tried it, and asked the question of "what do we do now we are here?" That trip resulted in having a bit of spam on a broken plate for breakfast, and the caravan ending up on fire.
This weekend is a bank holiday in the UK, and therefore there will be many caravans on the road heading to their fields of hell. The most worrying thing of all is there they do not need to pass an MOT. So if you are following a caravan this weekend - just think about that. At any time a wheel may fall off, burst, or the whole thing might collapse... and that's before you even start to think about the Muppet driving the car, pulling the caravan!
Saturday, 17 March 2012
Tip wankers
Having just returned from a couple of trips to the local tip to get rid of some rubble from some building workwe are doing - I must vent my frustration...
You've heard of Bus Wankers, now we have Tip wankers... The tip is a magnet for all sorts of strange people.
You have the people who turn up in their BMW or Audi, with half a bag of grass cuttings and an empty bottle of gin. Presumably it's the only thing they have got to do on a Saturday morning, and wake up thinking "I've got a mouldy piece of cheese in the fridge, i can take that to the tip today!" On one occasion i saw one of these people at the tip take his half a bag to the right bin, then got back in the car and started reading the paper!! WTF!
Then you have the people who want to park right outside the correct bin, instead of walking 5 feet extra. They stay right in the people of the tip parking area waiting for the correct space to come up - blocking anyone else from getting in, and making it hard for people getting out. Lazy bastards, is the only way to describe them! I wonder how these people get on in life without someone punching them squarely in the groin!
Worse than that though you have the people who firstly do the above, and then because they have Garden rubbish AND household waste, they finish dropping of the garden rubbish whilst parked right outside the bin, and instead of then walking an extra 5 feet with household rubbish, they move their car to outside that bin!! I've seen this happen many times and each time it amazes me that people do this. This Is the ultimate of laziness. These people will also be the people getting right in your way as you are trying to use the bins. One of these days i think I'll just push the f*ckers in and have done with it. That will teach them!! Tip Wankers!!
Just me that gets frustrated with this?
You've heard of Bus Wankers, now we have Tip wankers... The tip is a magnet for all sorts of strange people.
You have the people who turn up in their BMW or Audi, with half a bag of grass cuttings and an empty bottle of gin. Presumably it's the only thing they have got to do on a Saturday morning, and wake up thinking "I've got a mouldy piece of cheese in the fridge, i can take that to the tip today!" On one occasion i saw one of these people at the tip take his half a bag to the right bin, then got back in the car and started reading the paper!! WTF!
Then you have the people who want to park right outside the correct bin, instead of walking 5 feet extra. They stay right in the people of the tip parking area waiting for the correct space to come up - blocking anyone else from getting in, and making it hard for people getting out. Lazy bastards, is the only way to describe them! I wonder how these people get on in life without someone punching them squarely in the groin!
Worse than that though you have the people who firstly do the above, and then because they have Garden rubbish AND household waste, they finish dropping of the garden rubbish whilst parked right outside the bin, and instead of then walking an extra 5 feet with household rubbish, they move their car to outside that bin!! I've seen this happen many times and each time it amazes me that people do this. This Is the ultimate of laziness. These people will also be the people getting right in your way as you are trying to use the bins. One of these days i think I'll just push the f*ckers in and have done with it. That will teach them!! Tip Wankers!!
Just me that gets frustrated with this?
Friday, 24 February 2012
Cyclist Takes Revenge on Rude (?) Driver
There has been a video posted on MSN today of a cyclist taking is revenge for a driver being "apparently" rude.
Check it out here:
I am on the drivers side on this one. The silver car was not entirely at fault, its not as though he intentionally went to ram the bike off the road. The cyclist got into his blind spot, and where as he probably should have seen the cyclist sooner and stopped, he didn't get to the point where the cyclist was rammed off the road. There was still a few few feet of space! Just me thinking this? The cyclist more than likely was having a bad day, perhaps he was turned down for sex the night before, or woke up and found a badger had eaten his weetabix? Basically he should be made to pay for the damage to the car.
Check it out here:
I am on the drivers side on this one. The silver car was not entirely at fault, its not as though he intentionally went to ram the bike off the road. The cyclist got into his blind spot, and where as he probably should have seen the cyclist sooner and stopped, he didn't get to the point where the cyclist was rammed off the road. There was still a few few feet of space! Just me thinking this? The cyclist more than likely was having a bad day, perhaps he was turned down for sex the night before, or woke up and found a badger had eaten his weetabix? Basically he should be made to pay for the damage to the car.
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
Texting whilst Driving!
On my way to work this morning I noticed a girl behind me in a silver Corsa who appears to have her eyes shut. I thought that perhaps she had managed to get hold of the only Corsa that can drive itself, whilst the owner catches up on some sleep. These are seriously the thoughts that go through my mind!
That appeared not to be the case though. She was in fact obviously looking down at something. Now either there was something very interesting going on by her feet such as a fight between some flies, or a weird shaped pebble or she was texting on her mobile phone. the likely one being the latter here, as she was looking up from her phone about one every 10 seconds to check she hadn't crashed into something whilst texting someone, or sending naked pictures to people.
This made me worried. Not because of the naked pictures, but because of the fact she was likely to smash into the back of my car. The traffic was slow and i needed to brake a fair bit, and as i did so i could see she was getting close to my car, and then braking once she'd realised what was happening. Luckily after about 10 mins i turned off but this is a disaster waiting to happen. She could very easily lose concentration and plough into the back of a car, or run a pedestrian over. It is times likes this i wish i had a set of blue lights and a police siren to properly scare the crap out of people who are pure driving idiots.
Don't text whilst driving. It is likely to end in death and / or injury and likely to land you in prison also.
That appeared not to be the case though. She was in fact obviously looking down at something. Now either there was something very interesting going on by her feet such as a fight between some flies, or a weird shaped pebble or she was texting on her mobile phone. the likely one being the latter here, as she was looking up from her phone about one every 10 seconds to check she hadn't crashed into something whilst texting someone, or sending naked pictures to people.
This made me worried. Not because of the naked pictures, but because of the fact she was likely to smash into the back of my car. The traffic was slow and i needed to brake a fair bit, and as i did so i could see she was getting close to my car, and then braking once she'd realised what was happening. Luckily after about 10 mins i turned off but this is a disaster waiting to happen. She could very easily lose concentration and plough into the back of a car, or run a pedestrian over. It is times likes this i wish i had a set of blue lights and a police siren to properly scare the crap out of people who are pure driving idiots.
Don't text whilst driving. It is likely to end in death and / or injury and likely to land you in prison also.
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