Bad driving weekend

Whilst most people have been enjoying the BBQ weather this bank holiday weekend, there have been some people who've taken it upon themselves to bring sorrow and misery to the roads. 

Three times this weekend I've witnessed driving which I thought i'd never see outside of the Vodka fuelled Russian capital. 

On Sunday going along the motorway a car swerved in front of another car as it suddenly decided it wanted to stay on the motorway, and not exit. It was centimetres away from a high speed, and probably fatal accident. As I got side by side with the muppet, expecting Kermit the frog or Bert and Ernie, there was a man with a phone in one hand, and a map in the other. Not quite believing it, and deciding it was my duty to try and get him to stop what he was doing, I gave him the full duel horn affect.  he took no notice. He overtook me, still with no hands on the wheel. I decided waving my hands out the window and shouting was the next stage. Still nothing. He then decided he wanted to be in my lane, and cut in front of me.  Short of ramming him in a US police style pit manoeuvre there wasn't much I could do. He had at least got one hand on the wheel by this time. An accident waiting to happen. I was angry and wish I could legally lob a grenade into his open window.

Sunday evening now, and driving along a 60mph road, I find a car doing 30mph. I held back for a while, and then overtook when it was safe to do so. I got the flashing light treatment for this, and they decided to then speed up and follow me. The story doesn't end there however. As I neared a roundabout and slowed down to the appropriate speed to take it, I heard screeching tyres behind me and in the mirror saw the car i had overtaken, plough into the sign post on the island of the roundabout. It would seem that the reason why this driver was doing 30mph to start with is because they cant handle the car anything over this speed! Clearly they shouldn't be driving.

Monday afternoon, and the last of the bad drivers.  On a 60mph road again, and i spot some reversing lights at the side of the road. Wondering what might be about to happen, i slow to 40mph. Just as well, as a van had decided to reverse out of a driveway, straight onto this fast section of road. I had time to stop.  If i had been the drive previously revered to, i would not have noticed the reverse lights, would have panicked and swerved and ploughed into an oncoming car, or a tree.  This van then decided to do 35mph on a road which is safe for 60mph plus, and jam on its breaks for no good reason at one point as well.  I had enough and overtook on a straight, and safe section.  Now even more shocked and appalled at the state of driving skill i had witnessed during the weekend

So in summary... It is not speed that kills, it is the drivers who cant drive at 30mph, and cant handle their car anything over this speed.  You can drive fast, and safely - its just you have to know the limits of your car, and what situations are safe, and not safe!  These drivers put lives in their hands every day, and this is when the roads are dry and fairly empty. Imagine what happens when these drivers try to drive when its raining, dark, or icy.

Caravan crash

What's more annoying than seeing a caravan on the road?  The answer:  Being held up in a two mile tailback because a caravan has crashed and blocked the road!

I honestly do not see the point of a caravan.  They aren't cheap, you waste thousands of pounds buying one for it to be stuck on your driveway, blocking out the light from yours and your neighbours windows. When you do decide to use it the tyres are more than likely flat, or the battery dead. Or you find that a local badger has burrowed into it as he's decided it looks like a nice place to sleep for the winter. Once you've sorted all those issues you, you discover you've got nobody to go away with because your wife has run off with the milkman, not wanting to be bored to death inside a caravan. your son / daughter has run away to Ibiza for fear of embarrassment. If you do decide to act a loner and go away in it by yourself you will More than likely find its turned into a force 12 gale, and the caravan will be thrown about like a blow up doll on a welsh farm if you were to risk it. All that, and for what?

When you do get to some caravan park, what is there to do?  "fill up the loo" was the answer given to Jeremy Clarkson when they tried it, and asked the question of "what do we do now we are here?" That trip resulted in having a bit of spam on a broken plate for breakfast, and the caravan ending up on fire.

This weekend is a bank holiday in the UK, and therefore there will be many caravans on the road heading to their fields of hell.  The most worrying thing of all is there they do not need to pass an MOT. So if you are following a caravan this weekend - just think about that.  At any time a wheel may fall off, burst, or the whole thing might collapse... and that's before you even start to think about the Muppet driving the car, pulling the caravan!