Examples of bad driving

A Few shocking examples of bad driving below:

Caravans - nothing more than a bomb makers dream

As Bank Holiday nears in the UK all the people who have purchased a shed on wheels, because "they like that sort of thing" will be getting excited, blowing up their tyres, blowing up their imaginary wife, and checking their nuts are tight.

This then seems to be the thing to do if you have the sense of humour of a squashed fly and have nothing better to do that travel to the next county, blocking up the roads for all the normal people, and sitting in a field reading Caravan Weekly.

I really do not see the point of this. Caravans cannot be cheap, and what actually do you get out of it? Yes its a lot cheaper than going somewhere half interesting but there's a high risk of keeling over in a field by yourself from boredom.

TopGear tried out a Caravan holiday a few years ago and all that happened was they got lost, had a crash in a petrol station, and blew up the caravan because of a chip pan fire.  the woman who was a keen caravanner on site could only suggest they "fill up the loo" when asked what they were meant to do on a caravan site!

Caravans are no use, unless you are going to pack it with dynamite and light the fuse!

Jeremy Clarkson Furious Over Fake Claims

A story has recently appeared in the news over Topgear "apparently" faking the majority of the driving scenes where the car is whacking down the TopGear track, going sideways in a cloud of smoke etc.  This supposed fact has come from a disgruntled ex driver employed by Topgear. (hence the "ex" driver - probably sacked because he couldnt handle a three wheeler)

Naturally Jeremy Clarkson is furious about this and denies it completely.  The fact of the matter is that yes some scenes are done by other drivers rather than the presenters, but only when there is a need for cut in shots, and there is no time for the presenters to get back in the cars and do them.  They are busy people and there are always going to be extra shots needed when they're not available!  Whats the fuss about! Its not as though theyve put a Clarkson look a line in there and recorded his voice over it, its not misleading or fake as people are suggesting it to be!

People love to come up with some kind of excuse to put down the Topgear team, particularly Clarkson, and put him in the firing line. Most probably because they are jealous and know that they will never do the things that he Hammond and May do, never drive the cars they do, and wont come close to having the amazing jobs that they have - which are without question the best jobs ... in the world.

Get over it, enjoy topgear - and if you cant, go and watch Fifth Gear - which is nothing short of watching magnolia paint dry on a very wet, dark day.

Clarksons fury: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/3751735/Jeremy-Clarkson-Top-Gear-fake-fury.html

Driving me MAD!!

I think i must be some kind of bad driver magnet recently. I've had a visit from the shocking driver leader during the night who has implanted a small device in my brain to signal all of his members to my vicinity when i am on the road!  Seriously!!

Again yesterday on leaving work - a car pulled out on me and then proceeded to drive at a speed a millipede with 99 legs broken, could manage. This was on the straight before the S bend i mentioned in my previous post.  I saw a gap and went for the the overtake, otherwise i wold have actually been there until my 80th birthday!  It was a completely safe overtake, but the driver decided he'd take exception to it and started flashing their lights.  To be honest I'm surprised they knew where the button was to turn on their lights, they certainly didn't know where the "GO" pedal is!

"Miles to empty" Calculation

On my Ford Focus this morning when  I got to work the computer told me I had 15 miles until the fuel talk was empty. It has always been pretty accurate, even though i suspect its being a bit panicky and theres probably at least another gallon in there.  On starting the car to go home it decided there was now enough for 38 miles! How did that happen? Where did it just dream up18 miles from?  Perhaps a small field mouse has been using my fuel tank to urinate in during the day!? That mouse urine is potent stuff so I hear!

I will be interested to see how many miles it thinks Ive got left tomorrow morning.  More likely it will be a big fat ZERO!

I would much rather my car being a few Miles out though than it being like my wife's Renault Megane.  It quite happily tells you how much fuel there is left until theres 40 miles left, then it lets out a terrifying scream and the display goes blank! Its being typically French at this point and screaming "Help.. i don't know anymore, i don't know how much fuel there is - i surrender!!"  and starts waving the white flag!  Whats the point in having the display if it just gives up when its less than 40 miles of range left?  Pathetic!

More Bad Driver Irritation

On the way home from work today I came across yet another bad driver.  This type is all too common and one of the most dangerous. Theres no question about it, these people need to be run off the road - and I'm not talking about a letter being sent to them, I mean literally run off the road.  We should employ the tactics the American cops have.  No warning, a pit maneuver is performed on the car, sending it spinning into the nearby hedge.  Once stopped - shout "sorry, you have to be stopped," and drive off!  That will teach them!!

On a 60mph limit road this car was doing 35mph, and this road is a fairly straight road which you can safely do 60mph.  The car behind it got to fed up they decided to overtake (not me, i have to add!.)  The driver who overtook had become so frustrated he took a big risk of overtaking on a slight bend, meaning there was a risk of an oncoming car coming and a head on collision.  If this had occurred it would have no doubt been the car overtaking at fault, which in actual fact the root cause was the driver being shoickingly slow.

A little way down the road i came to be behind this slow driver who was still ticking along in 2nd gear.  We came to a SLOW sign on the road, because there is an S bend.  Again you take this bend at 40mph without issue.  The driver decided he'd slow down to 15mph, and then keep jabbing the brakes on til we were almost stopped! There was no way i could overtake so i just had to suck it up, but this was very frustrating. 

We then came to 30mph limit where there is a school, and 30mph is the max you want to do here.  You would think that the slow drive would be a careful driver, and wanting to stick to this limit?  No... he sped up to around 45mph!!  

So, just because a driver is slow doesn't mean they are safe. Quite the opposite actually!  This type of driver who obviously cannot really drive at all has to be stopped by any means necessary. They are the ones who will cause accidents!

I maintain that a regular test of skill around the nurburg ring would be the way to go. Anyone who fails get this British passport torn up and made to stay to dig up roads.  Anyone who passes gets to come back and get given a Supercar.

Dodgy drivers on mobile phones

A news story was published today regarding a driver who was caught talking on two mobiles, whilst doing 70 mph down a duel carriage way. He maintained that despite reports, he wasn't steering with his knees!  What was he driving with then?? He also said that he wasn't actively using two mobiles, he was searching for a number on one, and speaking it into the other.  Oh well - that's alright then!! 

No doubt he was on the phone to his local whore house, and was reading out the number for his favourite sex phone line whilst steering with his penis.  For that he got banned and £200 of fines. 

To be honest though, this isn't enough.  He has seriously risked the life of himself and thousands of road users and pedestrians around him by this act. Just for the sake of getting a good deal on a whore! Seriously though, mobile phones can destroy lives.  There is a well known police program that's repeated weekly showing the story of a girl who died when her car was crushed into a small cube, because the lorry driver behind was playing with his mobile and didn't see her brake.  That girl had a family, who has had their lives shaken, turned upside down and burnt to a crisp because of the lorry driver being stupid.

Using a mobile phone whilst driving is probably something we've all done at some point.  Just today i saw two people on the phone whilst driving and both of them nearly had accidents as i watched them.  One of them pulled out in front of me, the other was about to pull out on a police car with his blue lights on!  If these two drivers continue to do this they are likely to end up in prison on a death by driving charge.  I just hope they don't, and that honest road users don't end up injured or dead because of people like this.

Stop using your mobile whilst driving.  It's not worth the risk!

Link to news story of man steering with his man vegetables:

http://news.uk.msn.com/uk/driver-caught-using-two-mobiles

TopGear Filming on YouTube

In the last (not as in the last of all time obviously!) series of TopGear - Clarkson, May and Hammond tried to see if there was an alternative to the trains that we see today on our railways. 

Clarkson made a sports train out of a Jaguar XJ and a trailer, with a spoiler of course.  Hammond and May went the more sensible route with an Audi and some caravans. 

The usual calamities happened, with the caravans catching fire, and then being run over by a passing train.  It was a fantastic episode and full of all the things that people (most people anyway) love about TopGear.

Some filming has appeared on YouTube of this, taken by someone who was on a railways bridge watching.  The camera appears to have been held by someone who has the inability to use their hand, and has a severe case of caffeine shakes - but nonetheless, its great to see.  Check it out below

Cars dont kill people - stupid drivers do.

Yet another example today of a stupid driver causing potential risk to lives.

On the on slip to a busy motorway i was following four cars, about to merge onto the motorway at 60mph. The traffic was light and there was adequate space for us all to merge onto the motorway.  All of a sudden the car in front braked heavily and i had to stamp on the brakes to not hit it.  What appeared to have happened is that the front car had decided to stop at the end of the slip road, instead of merging into traffic. I can only assume they'd suddenly remembered they'd left the iron on at home and the house was currently burning to the ground, or that they'd just found out they'd won the lottery.  Surely it must have been something important to stop like that?

No - it would appear that they forgot the rules of the motorway and was treating it like a normal road junction.  If the cars behind them hadnt been on the ball, this could have been a major pile up, and potential risk to lives.  These sort of people are the ones who should be banned until they can prove they are a good driver. A lap of the nurburgring in under 10minutes, in a mini cooper s would be a good basis for passing and demonstrating this.

Buying a car and paying more insurance.

Why is it that when you buy a new or used car - your insurance goes sky high? Never mind whether the car you've bought is a lower insurance group.

For some reason the insurance industry seem to expect you to crash the car you've just bought because you don't know how to drive it.  I accept that there are a minority of people who will, like the 85 year old who came out of the showroom and ploughed straight through the living room of the house opposite, because they forgot their new car was an automatic. This however it not what normal people do.  Its not as though your new car is going to have the brake and accelerator pedals the other way round is it? 

I recently changed my car, to a diesel, in a lower insurance group and my premium went up from £30 a month, to £56! This is just another way of insurance companies making money out of your circumstances!

Shocking behaviour !!!

Electric cars

Topgear did a great section on electric cars last week - in which the outcome was that if you wanted to spend £30k+ on a car that takes you to the corner shop and back, and then needs charging for 13hrs - you should get one.  Also there aren't any charging points on the road network, and the only place you can charge them is off you own home supply.  I would imagine that by the time electric cars are popular, the price of electricity will be double that of petrol and diesel right now - so what is the point?

Today BMW have apparently been doing some research into electric cars.  They provided an electric mini to members of the public for a period of time, and they have been pleased to announce that 93% of the people who took part would buy an electric car, and most of them would this year.  Out of the 5 people, it would seem that 4 people live upstairs from the corner shop then. Why would you buy a car that will only get you around 100 miles, and cost you a bomb in electric bills?

Topgear also found that the engine and battery packs would last a max of 10 years, probably 5. What can you use the car for after 5 years? A secondary battery for your calculator?

The city of Loughborough where Clarkson and May came to halt in due to low batteries have said today that they are installing two free electric outlets so that they can come back and charge their cars.  No offence to this idiot, but do i have to spell out the obvious? Clarkson isn't THAT interested!!

Once the cars can actually do 500miles at least on a charge, the outlets are as common as fight in a Manchester bar, and the price of running the cars are half that of Petrol or Diesel - then please do come and tell us all about it.  In the meantime, don't insult us with your claims that people (probably BMW employees) would buy one now.

Slow drivers - cause accidents

A huge story in the news right now is the increase of car insurance, particularly for young drivers. To me this seems unjustified and an excuse to charge shocking amounts to people who just want to get in the car, and start doing handbrake turns... I mean, driving carefully.

Young people in the majority are not dangerous. They know the risks but are careful drivers.

To prove this statement:

• When I had passed my test I would only do handbrake turns when travelling well under 100mph. I have since had more experience so have now increased the speed to 125mph


• I would do a maximum of 55mph in a 30mph zone


• When it was raining i would stop driving on the pavements


• When snowing, i had an anchor to throw out the window - so in the event i started slipping out of control i could wrap it around a lamppost, or a fat man on the pavement to stop safely


• The maximum speed i would travel backwards in a car park was 35mph


• J turns were only completed on a Monday morning, during rush hour.


• My tyres were renewed whenever i heard metal grinding on the road from a blow out

The older generation of today are the cause of the accidents. Only yesterday i was sat behind a Honda Ass, sorry Jazz doing 20mph in a 60mph zone. I think the engine must have been stripped out and a small gerbil put into its place. Either that or the person driving had no knowledge of what a car is, and what they were doing. After 2 minutes of getting frustrated and about to have a nosebleed due to increased bloody pressure i overtook them. It was a straight road, i could see 200 yards in front, the road was dry, my handbrake was off. On passing the car they started to honk their horn and flash their lights. For one second i thought maybe I'd left my blow up doll on the roof, but they were in fact protesting at my unsafe driving.

I ignored them and forgot about it. 20 minutes later i drove back the other way and 2 miles along the road where i had overtaken them earlier I came across the same Honda Jazz, just in front of a mangled bicycle. The biker was fortunately ok, but it was obvious what had happened. The Honda Jazz driver was so engrained in travelling under 25mph so not to disturb the straw hat from the parcel shelf, they had not seen the cyclist and caught his bike on the bumper and knocked him off.

People should have a yearly test at the Nurburg ring to demonstrate that they can handle a car at speed, and in extreme circumstances. If they can, the maximumn insurance they should pay is £100 a year. If they cant, they should be sent home on the bus and ordered to pay road tax for the people who can drive.

Its time the insurance sector was revolutionised.