Driving home tonight I was travelling up a short section of dual carriageway after a large ASDA super market. Its a very short section leading to a roundabout where the two lanes merge into one.
A Nissan Quashqo (Or Prick as we will name it for purposes of the story) was right up my back bottom on the way up the dual carriageway, for no obvious reason. He decided to get into the outside lane just before the roundabout and cut me up as it merged to one lane. As he accelerated, the boot opened to reveal about 10 bags of shopping, and the majority of them then fell into the road with a big smash. There was food everywhere all over the road,and likely all ruined! Funniest thing ever! That will learn them!
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
Insurance black box
So you've heard of Aircraft black boxes. Now many insurance companies are offering you the chance of a black box for your car! Now don't be concerned, it isn't a little box that will record everything you say in the car so that in the event of a minor prang, you are put to death for having said "cheese" on your way to the supermarket.
The black box records speed, time, location, and G forces as you are driving the car - which is then fed back to the Insurance HQ. If you are proved to be a driver who sticks to the speed limits, and doesn't go round corners at 60mph then your insurance price will stay low. It also depends on how much mileage you do, and where and when you drive too. If you are a normal driver who mostly sticks to the speed limits, and goes round corners at a practical speed then this black box arrangement is not for you. You will get penalised for bad driving, even though you are actually perfectly safe. for example if you were stuck being a 20mph driver on a 60mph limit, and overtook them - the G forces recorded would put you down as a dangerous driver, even though in actual fact the 20mph was the dangerous one!
So, when should you get a black box? If you are a practical, but safe driver who enjoys driving then don't bother. If you only drive to the shops once a week on a Monday afternoon, religiously stick to 5mph under the speed limit, and drive a car that's capable of accelerating from 0 - 60 in 2 months, then this is the deal for you!
One day all of us will be made to get one, and that will be the time when driving will no longer be fun, but a massive bore. Super Cars will no longer exist except for track days, and the worlds economy will suffer because everyone is taking 2 hours longer to get to work.
The black box records speed, time, location, and G forces as you are driving the car - which is then fed back to the Insurance HQ. If you are proved to be a driver who sticks to the speed limits, and doesn't go round corners at 60mph then your insurance price will stay low. It also depends on how much mileage you do, and where and when you drive too. If you are a normal driver who mostly sticks to the speed limits, and goes round corners at a practical speed then this black box arrangement is not for you. You will get penalised for bad driving, even though you are actually perfectly safe. for example if you were stuck being a 20mph driver on a 60mph limit, and overtook them - the G forces recorded would put you down as a dangerous driver, even though in actual fact the 20mph was the dangerous one!
So, when should you get a black box? If you are a practical, but safe driver who enjoys driving then don't bother. If you only drive to the shops once a week on a Monday afternoon, religiously stick to 5mph under the speed limit, and drive a car that's capable of accelerating from 0 - 60 in 2 months, then this is the deal for you!
One day all of us will be made to get one, and that will be the time when driving will no longer be fun, but a massive bore. Super Cars will no longer exist except for track days, and the worlds economy will suffer because everyone is taking 2 hours longer to get to work.
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Aston martin logo Tattoo?
I've never had a tattoo and if i were to have one, it would not be the usual stupid Chinese lettering that most people get. It would have to be something i really wanted.
Is it crazy that I want to get a tattoo of the Aston Martin logo!? Would you have one and if so where?
Is it crazy that I want to get a tattoo of the Aston Martin logo!? Would you have one and if so where?
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Caravan crash
What's more annoying than seeing a caravan on the road? The answer: Being held up in a two mile tailback because a caravan has crashed and blocked the road!
I honestly do not see the point of a caravan. They aren't cheap, you waste thousands of pounds buying one for it to be stuck on your driveway, blocking out the light from yours and your neighbours windows. When you do decide to use it the tyres are more than likely flat, or the battery dead. Or you find that a local badger has burrowed into it as he's decided it looks like a nice place to sleep for the winter. Once you've sorted all those issues you, you discover you've got nobody to go away with because your wife has run off with the milkman, not wanting to be bored to death inside a caravan. your son / daughter has run away to Ibiza for fear of embarrassment. If you do decide to act a loner and go away in it by yourself you will More than likely find its turned into a force 12 gale, and the caravan will be thrown about like a blow up doll on a welsh farm if you were to risk it. All that, and for what?
When you do get to some caravan park, what is there to do? "fill up the loo" was the answer given to Jeremy Clarkson when they tried it, and asked the question of "what do we do now we are here?" That trip resulted in having a bit of spam on a broken plate for breakfast, and the caravan ending up on fire.
This weekend is a bank holiday in the UK, and therefore there will be many caravans on the road heading to their fields of hell. The most worrying thing of all is there they do not need to pass an MOT. So if you are following a caravan this weekend - just think about that. At any time a wheel may fall off, burst, or the whole thing might collapse... and that's before you even start to think about the Muppet driving the car, pulling the caravan!
I honestly do not see the point of a caravan. They aren't cheap, you waste thousands of pounds buying one for it to be stuck on your driveway, blocking out the light from yours and your neighbours windows. When you do decide to use it the tyres are more than likely flat, or the battery dead. Or you find that a local badger has burrowed into it as he's decided it looks like a nice place to sleep for the winter. Once you've sorted all those issues you, you discover you've got nobody to go away with because your wife has run off with the milkman, not wanting to be bored to death inside a caravan. your son / daughter has run away to Ibiza for fear of embarrassment. If you do decide to act a loner and go away in it by yourself you will More than likely find its turned into a force 12 gale, and the caravan will be thrown about like a blow up doll on a welsh farm if you were to risk it. All that, and for what?
When you do get to some caravan park, what is there to do? "fill up the loo" was the answer given to Jeremy Clarkson when they tried it, and asked the question of "what do we do now we are here?" That trip resulted in having a bit of spam on a broken plate for breakfast, and the caravan ending up on fire.
This weekend is a bank holiday in the UK, and therefore there will be many caravans on the road heading to their fields of hell. The most worrying thing of all is there they do not need to pass an MOT. So if you are following a caravan this weekend - just think about that. At any time a wheel may fall off, burst, or the whole thing might collapse... and that's before you even start to think about the Muppet driving the car, pulling the caravan!
Saturday, 17 March 2012
Tip wankers
Having just returned from a couple of trips to the local tip to get rid of some rubble from some building workwe are doing - I must vent my frustration...
You've heard of Bus Wankers, now we have Tip wankers... The tip is a magnet for all sorts of strange people.
You have the people who turn up in their BMW or Audi, with half a bag of grass cuttings and an empty bottle of gin. Presumably it's the only thing they have got to do on a Saturday morning, and wake up thinking "I've got a mouldy piece of cheese in the fridge, i can take that to the tip today!" On one occasion i saw one of these people at the tip take his half a bag to the right bin, then got back in the car and started reading the paper!! WTF!
Then you have the people who want to park right outside the correct bin, instead of walking 5 feet extra. They stay right in the people of the tip parking area waiting for the correct space to come up - blocking anyone else from getting in, and making it hard for people getting out. Lazy bastards, is the only way to describe them! I wonder how these people get on in life without someone punching them squarely in the groin!
Worse than that though you have the people who firstly do the above, and then because they have Garden rubbish AND household waste, they finish dropping of the garden rubbish whilst parked right outside the bin, and instead of then walking an extra 5 feet with household rubbish, they move their car to outside that bin!! I've seen this happen many times and each time it amazes me that people do this. This Is the ultimate of laziness. These people will also be the people getting right in your way as you are trying to use the bins. One of these days i think I'll just push the f*ckers in and have done with it. That will teach them!! Tip Wankers!!
Just me that gets frustrated with this?
You've heard of Bus Wankers, now we have Tip wankers... The tip is a magnet for all sorts of strange people.
You have the people who turn up in their BMW or Audi, with half a bag of grass cuttings and an empty bottle of gin. Presumably it's the only thing they have got to do on a Saturday morning, and wake up thinking "I've got a mouldy piece of cheese in the fridge, i can take that to the tip today!" On one occasion i saw one of these people at the tip take his half a bag to the right bin, then got back in the car and started reading the paper!! WTF!
Then you have the people who want to park right outside the correct bin, instead of walking 5 feet extra. They stay right in the people of the tip parking area waiting for the correct space to come up - blocking anyone else from getting in, and making it hard for people getting out. Lazy bastards, is the only way to describe them! I wonder how these people get on in life without someone punching them squarely in the groin!
Worse than that though you have the people who firstly do the above, and then because they have Garden rubbish AND household waste, they finish dropping of the garden rubbish whilst parked right outside the bin, and instead of then walking an extra 5 feet with household rubbish, they move their car to outside that bin!! I've seen this happen many times and each time it amazes me that people do this. This Is the ultimate of laziness. These people will also be the people getting right in your way as you are trying to use the bins. One of these days i think I'll just push the f*ckers in and have done with it. That will teach them!! Tip Wankers!!
Just me that gets frustrated with this?
Thursday, 15 March 2012
Fog + Auto headlights + Idiots = Disaster
This morning in the UK we have a thick blanket of Fog - meaning the visibility on the road is around 50 yds at most.
The majority of cars on the road have their headlights on, and fog lights - as you would expect but there are a good handful who have not. No headlights on at all! The cars that these idiots belong to are the sort of cars who will have Auto headlights (they come on when its dark and go off when its light.) So obviously the fact that these drivers no longer have to think about switching on / off the headlights when its dark, has made them stupid. They have failed to think that perhaps they should put on their headlights and fog lights when its a very foggy day. These are the kind of people who will walk into a lamppost because they were staring at a woman's boobies, and sue the council because the lamppost was there, and not made out of soft duck feather filled pillows!
I saw a near miss this morning because of this. A car coming the other direction turned in front of a car, because it couldn't see it - it had no lights on at all! Perhaps the Auto Headlights switch should come with a sticker saying "sometimes you might have to turn them on manually when its not dark, but you cant see jack all. Fools."
The majority of cars on the road have their headlights on, and fog lights - as you would expect but there are a good handful who have not. No headlights on at all! The cars that these idiots belong to are the sort of cars who will have Auto headlights (they come on when its dark and go off when its light.) So obviously the fact that these drivers no longer have to think about switching on / off the headlights when its dark, has made them stupid. They have failed to think that perhaps they should put on their headlights and fog lights when its a very foggy day. These are the kind of people who will walk into a lamppost because they were staring at a woman's boobies, and sue the council because the lamppost was there, and not made out of soft duck feather filled pillows!
I saw a near miss this morning because of this. A car coming the other direction turned in front of a car, because it couldn't see it - it had no lights on at all! Perhaps the Auto Headlights switch should come with a sticker saying "sometimes you might have to turn them on manually when its not dark, but you cant see jack all. Fools."
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Personal Contract Hire - is it a good idea?
According to various websites PCH - Personal Contract Car Hire - is becoming very popular. This prompted me to have a bit of an investigate into it.
What is it PCH?
It's a finance solution where you pay a deposit up front, and then monthly payments for terms between 1 and 4 years. It is basically an extended rental agreement, the car will never be yours. It's cheaper than other finance options, and you get to drive a brand new car of your choice. There are also options to pay a little extra to cover servicing etc so you know how much everything will cost. Road tax is also included. After the term, you give the car back and set up another PCH for another car.
Does it save you money?
This really depends on what your current arrangement is, and how much you use your car. This option tends to save money compared to a standard finance package. If you are not bothered whether the car will be yours, and you want to drive brand new cars all the time - then this is the option for you. If you are used to buying used or new cars using savings, then this will potentially be a more expensive option.
An example PCH deal:
An Aston Martin could be yours to drive for an initial £5,000 payment, plus £1500 per month (ex Vat)! Now that has to be cheaper than buying one.. but, would you want to give it back after 4 years !!!?
What is it PCH?
It's a finance solution where you pay a deposit up front, and then monthly payments for terms between 1 and 4 years. It is basically an extended rental agreement, the car will never be yours. It's cheaper than other finance options, and you get to drive a brand new car of your choice. There are also options to pay a little extra to cover servicing etc so you know how much everything will cost. Road tax is also included. After the term, you give the car back and set up another PCH for another car.
Does it save you money?
This really depends on what your current arrangement is, and how much you use your car. This option tends to save money compared to a standard finance package. If you are not bothered whether the car will be yours, and you want to drive brand new cars all the time - then this is the option for you. If you are used to buying used or new cars using savings, then this will potentially be a more expensive option.
An example PCH deal:
An Aston Martin could be yours to drive for an initial £5,000 payment, plus £1500 per month (ex Vat)! Now that has to be cheaper than buying one.. but, would you want to give it back after 4 years !!!?
Thursday, 1 March 2012
How Do I Change a battery in a Ford Focus?
"How hard can it be?" you say? Well... not as easy as it could be - is the answer. This is best done by two people. However - I would recommend not to employ some spanners from Halfords to do it! Here are the steps on how to do it yourself
1. Find your radio code - if you don't have it, then once you change the battery you will be soundless!
2. Unclip the top of the battery container (only one clip) and the side clip
3. get a 10mm socket and loosen the nuts around the terminals. Be careful not to loose them, or you will be screwed.
4. The metal harness securing the battery in the car is held on by a 10mm nut which is down the side of the battery container, A little hard to get at, but not impossible once you part the container a little. Again, be careful not to loose this nut!
5. Unclip the metal harness
6. Take off the terminals - you may need to lever the negative terminal off with something, a spanner or screwdriver will do it. You can also buy terminal pullers to make it easier.
7. Take out the battery (easier with two people)
8. Insert new battery
9. If its slightly smaller in length you will have to position it so the wires that connect to the ECU fit ok when the battery container is secured.
10.Reattach the terminals and tighten the nuts
11. Replace harness and tighten nut to secure
12.clip back the battery container covers
If you follow the above you should be done in about 20 mins!
1. Find your radio code - if you don't have it, then once you change the battery you will be soundless!
2. Unclip the top of the battery container (only one clip) and the side clip
3. get a 10mm socket and loosen the nuts around the terminals. Be careful not to loose them, or you will be screwed.
4. The metal harness securing the battery in the car is held on by a 10mm nut which is down the side of the battery container, A little hard to get at, but not impossible once you part the container a little. Again, be careful not to loose this nut!
5. Unclip the metal harness
6. Take off the terminals - you may need to lever the negative terminal off with something, a spanner or screwdriver will do it. You can also buy terminal pullers to make it easier.
7. Take out the battery (easier with two people)
8. Insert new battery
9. If its slightly smaller in length you will have to position it so the wires that connect to the ECU fit ok when the battery container is secured.
10.Reattach the terminals and tighten the nuts
11. Replace harness and tighten nut to secure
12.clip back the battery container covers
If you follow the above you should be done in about 20 mins!
Scaring drunk drivers off the road!
Last night around midnight the roads were quiet apart from a fair few Police cars out and about and some blatantly drunk drivers. Presumably that's what the police were out looking for - and good. People to take to the wheel, having had too much alcohol will at some point ending up killing someone and/or themselves. Why do people risk it these days when the chance of getting caught is so high?
One driver in front of me last night was weaving all over the place, and was obviously well over the limit, and drunk at the wheel. At that point there were no police cars about (typically). So i decided to do a bit of policing myself. I accelerated quickly to get up behind the car in close proximity and started flashing the headlights as an undercover police car would do. The outcome was that the drunk driver freaked out, and started braking and looking behind as though he had just been caught, and was going to lose his licence! Acknowledging my job was done, i turned off. however hopefully this was enough to make the driver think twice next time and not get behind the wheel drunk! Am i being over hopeful?
One driver in front of me last night was weaving all over the place, and was obviously well over the limit, and drunk at the wheel. At that point there were no police cars about (typically). So i decided to do a bit of policing myself. I accelerated quickly to get up behind the car in close proximity and started flashing the headlights as an undercover police car would do. The outcome was that the drunk driver freaked out, and started braking and looking behind as though he had just been caught, and was going to lose his licence! Acknowledging my job was done, i turned off. however hopefully this was enough to make the driver think twice next time and not get behind the wheel drunk! Am i being over hopeful?
DON'T Drink and DRIVE!!!
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