Greased Lightning - Showroom Shine Review

A few months ago whilst I was washing my car in the usual way. You know, water, car shampoo, sponge, and polish. An old guy who lives down the road decided to chat to me and tell me all about some new car wash stuff that you just sprayed on, and wiped off.  I immediately thought he'd been at the whiskey, and was spouting rubbish.

However, i then have an investigate on the internet and discovered that the product he was talking about "Greased Lighting, Showroom Shine" was actually quite a hit! So i decided to trust his adhoc review, and give it ago.

I bought it from the LivingTV website, for £19.99 - which came with two micro fibre cloths.  I've just finished using it and i am pretty impressed with it!

All you do is spray it on the car, wipe it over with one cloth, and then immediately wipe it off with another cloth. It's easy, and it does remove light dirt, and give the car a shine with ease. just as it says!

It does say that it removes road grime, but this isn't completely true. I would recommend washing any dried on bugs, and road grime off first before using this.  Also not recommended to put on the windscreen.  It does work to clean plastic, but you need to wipe it off immediately to stop it drying too much, otherwise you will get white marks on it!  If you follow the above, then you will be pleasantly impressed!

Here's some pics of our cars after finishing using the product:

Got my Car Stereo removal keys stuck!!

So, I was sure i was onto a winner the other day when i removed my Sony 6000CD from my Focus, to get the serial number, to then get the unlock code. I bought some removal keys for £4 from Ebay

This is where i started acting all special. On putting the unit back, i couldn't work out why it wouldn't stay in, and the keys wouldn't come out! For about 30 minutes i was trying to work out what the hell was going on, i must have looked like a right douche bag! At one point i even got some pliers and tried to put all my weight into pulling the keys out. Nothing worked, all that happened was a bit of swearing, some mangling of the keys, and some small blood loss!

The next day i suddenly had a thought.. and it was a good one, so i thought.  I'll get the pliers and try to force the keys out whilst the unit it out.  That didn't work either, and all i did was bend a few things i really shouldn't have done.  I'd managed to stuff it up so that the unit had gone back, and was secured by 1 clip, with all four keys stuck in - so now i was really screwed!

Today i applied even more brute force, and managed to get the unit back out. Then i discovered the full horror of my specialness. All i needed to do was gently press the clips in on the side of the unit, and remove the keys. Then just drop the unit back in, and it clipped neatly in place! Head in hands, i was ashamed of myself - but at least I've got a working stereo, and no keys stuck in the holes.

Don't be a douche bag like me!

Car Wash Calamity

Whilst waiting for my turn at the Car wash in Sainsburys I was kept amused by the people already in there.

Anyone with a 1/3 of a brain would know that the windows need to be shut, the mirrors in, and aerial down. None of these things had happened here, and whilst the brushes were about to start pummelling the car in a soapy showdown, the car owners were trying frantically to hang out the windows and sort these issues out. They failed, and during the process the passenger got the best hair shampoo ever!

After the car wash had stopped, they spent 2 minutes picking up what was left of the aerial, and mirrors. No doubt it was the fault of Sainsburys, and not the idiots themselves! Most entertaining visit to the car wash... of the year!

Forgotten to shut your door?

Yesterday I was driving along and a car coming the other way had his drivers door open. It appeared to be that he was holding open with this foot!

Now - a few questions immediately sprung to mind.

1. What has happened in that car to make leaving the door open a good idea? someone with a serious gas problem in the car? has an egg just purchased from Makro just exploded? Was the air con broken? or was the driver of the car so outraged with the quality of his driving, that he was considering jumping from the car to save himself?

2. What foot was he powering the car with, if his right foot was holding the door open?

3. Can you imagine explaining to the police why a motorbike crashed into him? "well you see i had the door open..."  It's not going to end well!

4. What mental institute had this person just escaped from?

Baby on board sign - taken to next level

We've all seen cars with the tacky "baby on board" signs in the back window. Nobody really knows what these signs are meant to do. Does it give the driver of the car some kind of special permission to drive recklessly because the baby has thrown up on the seats? No idea to be honest!

This morning i saw a Baby on board sign, taken to the next level. It was a picture of a pregnant mothers ultrasound scan in the back window, with the words ... "on board" over the top of it.  Why!?  What good is that going to do, and why would other people on the road be interested?  It could have been a picture of James May's arse - it wasn't at all clear until you were right up to the back of the car. So in actual fact, the car owner is inviting people to smack them up the backside, whilst trying to work out what the hell the picture is!

Shopping all over the road

Driving home tonight I was travelling up a short section of dual carriageway after a large ASDA super market. Its  a very short section leading to a roundabout where the two lanes merge into one.

A Nissan Quashqo (Or Prick as we will name it for purposes of the story) was right up my back bottom on the way up the dual carriageway, for no obvious reason. He decided to get into the outside lane just before the roundabout and cut me up as it merged to one lane. As he accelerated, the boot opened to reveal about 10 bags of shopping, and the majority of them then fell into the road with a big smash. There was food everywhere all over the road,and likely all ruined! Funniest thing ever!  That will learn them!

Insurance black box

So you've heard of Aircraft black boxes. Now many insurance companies are offering you the chance of a black box for your car! Now don't be concerned, it isn't a little box that will record everything you say in the car so that in the event of a minor prang, you are put to death for having said "cheese" on your way to the supermarket.

The black box records speed, time, location, and G forces as you are driving the car - which is then fed back to the Insurance HQ.  If you are proved to be a driver who sticks to the speed limits, and doesn't go round corners at 60mph then your insurance price will stay low. It also depends on how much mileage you do, and where and when you drive too.  If you are a normal driver who mostly sticks to the speed limits, and goes round corners at a practical speed then this black box arrangement is not for you.  You will get penalised for bad driving, even though you are actually perfectly safe.  for example if you were stuck being a 20mph driver on a 60mph limit, and overtook them - the G forces recorded would put you down as a dangerous driver, even though in actual fact the 20mph was the dangerous one!

So, when should you get a black box?  If you are a practical, but safe driver who enjoys driving then don't bother.  If you only drive to the shops once a week on a Monday afternoon, religiously stick to 5mph under the speed limit, and drive a car that's capable of accelerating from 0 - 60 in 2 months, then this is the deal for you!

One day all of us will be made to get one, and that will be the time when driving will no longer be fun, but a massive bore. Super Cars will no longer exist except for track days, and the worlds economy will suffer because everyone is taking 2 hours longer to get to work. 

Aston martin logo Tattoo?

I've never had a tattoo and if i were to have one, it would not be the usual stupid Chinese lettering that most people get. It would have to be something i really wanted.

Is it crazy that I want to get a tattoo of the Aston Martin logo!?  Would you have one and if so where?

Caravan crash

What's more annoying than seeing a caravan on the road?  The answer:  Being held up in a two mile tailback because a caravan has crashed and blocked the road!

I honestly do not see the point of a caravan.  They aren't cheap, you waste thousands of pounds buying one for it to be stuck on your driveway, blocking out the light from yours and your neighbours windows. When you do decide to use it the tyres are more than likely flat, or the battery dead. Or you find that a local badger has burrowed into it as he's decided it looks like a nice place to sleep for the winter. Once you've sorted all those issues you, you discover you've got nobody to go away with because your wife has run off with the milkman, not wanting to be bored to death inside a caravan. your son / daughter has run away to Ibiza for fear of embarrassment. If you do decide to act a loner and go away in it by yourself you will More than likely find its turned into a force 12 gale, and the caravan will be thrown about like a blow up doll on a welsh farm if you were to risk it. All that, and for what?

When you do get to some caravan park, what is there to do?  "fill up the loo" was the answer given to Jeremy Clarkson when they tried it, and asked the question of "what do we do now we are here?" That trip resulted in having a bit of spam on a broken plate for breakfast, and the caravan ending up on fire.

This weekend is a bank holiday in the UK, and therefore there will be many caravans on the road heading to their fields of hell.  The most worrying thing of all is there they do not need to pass an MOT. So if you are following a caravan this weekend - just think about that.  At any time a wheel may fall off, burst, or the whole thing might collapse... and that's before you even start to think about the Muppet driving the car, pulling the caravan!